My Bonus Princess....

I never wanted you here. You simply were never part of the plan. Growing up and dreaming of my family I thought I wouldnt ever have to include you and I am sure you didnt want this as your future plans as well.   I didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child and I know you dont want help to raise yours as well.  The plan was for my family to include me, daddy and our children, not you the mother or Josh raising my kids.  I doubt you ever wanted me in your life as much as I felt the same about you. I doubt you planned to have me mother your child that you gave birth to. I can bet that your plan for your family included you, him and your children together, not me or my kids. I can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be the day you gave birth and living happy ever after as you three developing memories to last a lifetime.  I’m pretty sure you never planned on me being here. Well it wasnt my plan as well, see, I am in the same shoes as you! Its not easy mothering someone elses child, like wise its hard to watch someone mother mine as well.

But God had plans that far that exceeded our own expectations and when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming into the picture.

In my mind you would be a terrible beast and your daughter would not want me to mother her at all, EVER! I was hoping that you would be semi unattractive and prayed your daughter wouldn’t look up to you. Her daddy would know that he was settling for second best of course and she would come first in his eyes.  As much as I wanted the devil to come out in me because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman would mother would be in my future or even in my absence.

Guess what, you have arrived.

Meeting you,  I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in mind and all sorts of emotions ran through my mind. How was I going to compete with you? How am I going to raise your daughter by YOUR expectations?. You were supposed to be hideous, and I wanted to hate you, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful. Why? Because you are the mother of this precious little girl that I hope that you will allow in your heart, let me nurture her while she is in our care. You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember? And at times I do think you do because I like too give my advice on how to raise her! We come from two different backgrounds, and we both know I already mother two babies of my own! So my motherly instincts always have to jump in before my head has time to wrap around your rath. But you are a smart woman full of knowledge! And I hope this precious little girl grows up to be just like you!

As I learned more and more about you my plans have been unfolded!!

I realized by the look on your face that meeting me was just as hard as it was for me to meet you. My heart immediately crushed to a million pieces.  Now, dang it, I was planing on really hating you. Why are you ruining my future plans?

See, my all intentions was to really hate you, but I began to thank you!! See, even though you and my future husband have a past which how this beautiful little girl had the chance to walk into my life, I found more and more reasons to thank you!!!

I have accepted your daughter from the very start and have unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, and that is beyond any blessing.  You’ve left me include your daughter in everything we do and make her feel loved and accepted and like a little princess she deserves. I will always put her relationship with her daddy above ours and only a courageous woman knows how difficult that could be raising another plus two others that are not her daddy's!

I knew when her daddy and I decided that our lives were meant to be together there would be times when she would need me, as a mommy, and I would always be there for her. I want you to know that as when you are absent from her while she is in my care that I am grateful that you have mercy on me during her and never reject me as to replacing you.  She needs a mommy at your house and you’ve done an amazing job being that for her but I also want to provide her with the same while she is here with us as well.

You’ve respected my position as mom from the very start. We havent always had the best at communication when you question if I am  making the right decisions for her and with her. I know our situation is rare but yet not so rare in this day and age. It’s hard for a mom and future stepmom to text each other to remind each other that they love and respect each other. And some day, I only hope we can gain this relationship!

Because of you and your courage to mother your daughter the way that you do, she will be a better woman. She will grow up with more love than we could have ever imagined with having two wonderful families loving her. It wasn’t her choice to have parents who have separate homes and even though I wouldn’t wish that on any child because my children have to go through same thing and its not easy and I get full worries and emotions with them as well. So, I am thankful that she now has 4 parents who love and respect her and I hope some day with each other. She’s compassionate because of this life we are molding  her into and understands that a failure in one area can turn into a blessing in another.

I am not here to be a fill in for when you are not here. You are her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me. She’s excited to brag about you and tell me her stories when she’s with you at your house and that makes my heart want to crumble to a million pieces. I fill with pride each time we reunite and want to wrap my arms around her and squeeze her with a loving hug each time we see each other.

I am extremely aware of what it looks like when a mother cannot emotionally accept her childs stepmother in their life because i see it every other weekend when I have to let me two babies go off to have the bond with their dad and his significant other. I just want to do what is best for her in our home but also show my modesty that is best fitting in your heart. All I ask is we continue to co-parent to the best of our abilities to make sure she is getting the loving kindness she deserves and that she feels safe with out a single worry

I promise to always respect your input for your daughter. I promise to never lessen the position you hold in her life or make you feel like you are not her mother. I promise to raise her to be grateful to have two strong and brave women in her life that have the courage to mother her together. Even though our situation is not always peaceful I pray that she is never in it, but if she ever finds herself here I promise to set an example for her of what co-parenting should look like.

May we continue to have courage, patience, humility, and thick skin to truly get along!

From your home to mine,

Amber Davis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IF YOU LOVE IT, PLEASE SHARE IT!

Where do I start?

This week the question "Where do I start?" has been thrown at me a few times.

"You are so fit, how do you do it?" Well, you know the saying - where there is a will, there is a way!

So if you have been asking yourself (or others) this question, well done - you have find yourself some lingering will power. Now it's time to put it in action.

When starting a new healthy lifestyle, it is very important to:

1. Know why you are doing this, and:
2. Understand that everybody is different.

Firstly, why do you want to change your lifestyle? To look good? To feel fitter & healthier? To overcome existing health conditions? Or to live a long, healthful life?

No matter what your reason is, make sure it is a long-term goal. It is a new lifestyle, not just a temporary fix!

Once you have found your personal long-term motive, create a vision board or write it down. Make sure that these items are in plain sight (and preferably close to your bed) - they will serve you as a reminder of what you are trying to achieve.

Why take this approach? Visualization is a powerful mental tool which can help you stay on track. It is a commonly used technique in the health & fitness industry, from professional athletes to mental health practitioners.

Once your vision is set in stone (or paper:) ), it is time to seek information and educate yourself. The internet is full of advice, from highly technical research to instagram wisdom - whatever you seek you shall find.

But this is also the cause of much confusion. And that is why you need to remember that everyone is unique. What has worked for one person, may not work for the other.

We are different in so many ways - our genes, our upbringing, our current lifestyles & resources, our likes & dislikes...

BUT WHAT STOPS YOU FROM TAKING A RISK TO SEE WHAT WORKS FOR YOU??

☆ Click and join us here---for more every day fun, tips, recipes, weight loss support & motivation.. and learn about Skinny Fiber! 

Click here ---> www.rechargeyourhealth.sbc90.com

#HealthyAndFocused #Support #Recipes #WeightLoss #Motivation #Inspiration #Fun #Tips #Inspiration #RechargeYourHealth

 

3,125 Veggie Noodle Bowl Ideas

Everything You Need To Know Before You Go On A Low-Carb Diet

Everything You Need To Know Before You Go On A Low-Carb Diet

Much like Oprah, we LOVE bread. So naturally, the thought of cutting it out of our lives (along with any other carbs) is terrifying. But then again, if everyone and their mom (and lots of scientific research) claim that quitting carbohydrates is the key to weight loss, there's got to be something to it, right?

Whether it takes the form of Atkins or the Paleo diet, the low-carb trend has been around for a long time. But chances are you might not fully understand where it came from, how it works, and why experts are torn on whether this eating plan is smart. Here, we break down all of that so you can decide if carb-cutting in the name of weight loss is worth it.

What Low Carb Actually Means
Depending on who you talk to, there are different definitions of a low-carb diet. Plans can range from 100 grams of carbohydrates per day to zero grams (yikes), says Susan Kleiner, PhD, RD, author of Power Eating. To put that into perspective, a small piece of fruit has about 15 grams of carbs and a banana contains up to 30 grams.

For the sake of this article, though, we'll define a low-carb diet as containing 100 grams of carbs per day for someone who exercises three times a week at a moderate pace. For everyone else, a true low-carb diet would be about 50 grams per day, says Kleiner.

What's Considered a Carb?

Unfortunately for Regina George, butter is not a carb. But according to the USDA's Nutrient Database, lots of foods, including fruits and veggies, contain high amounts of carbohydrates. Though you probably know that potatoes and bananas are packed with carbohydrates, over 20 grams of the macronutrient are also found in a serving of grapes, apples, pears, or cauliflower. Plus, dried fruits, such as apricots, cranberries, and raisins, have a whopping 80 grams per serving.

You'll find carbs lurking in other unsuspecting places, too. Frozen yogurt, almond and soy milk, barbeque sauce, and protein-packed beans and legumes (including chickpeas, kidney beans, and baked beans) are all considered high-carb foods.

How Low-Carb Diets Became Trendy
According to a 2008 article in the journal Epilepsia, the ketogenic diet, a high-fat, high-protein, low-carb diet, originated as a cure for epilepsy in 500 B.C. and is still used as such today.

The Atkins diet was invented in 1972 as a result of research aimed to help overweight people with hypertension, says Kleiner. Prior to Atkins, doctors were "starving" diseases in overweight patients with ultra-low-calorie diets (500 to 600 calories a day). So when researchers discovered that a high-protein, low-carb diet was just as effective for weight loss, they started using this method so participants could have a normal calorie intake.

The reason these diets have such staying power is because they do help people lose weight, says Keri Gans, RD, author of The Small Change Diet. The thing is, people get frustrated with deprivation diets so they give up, she says.

Why Low-Carb Works Well for Some
No carbs means no-brainer portion control. Weight loss associated with a low-carb diet is mainly a result of eating less, says Albert Matheny, CSCS, RD, of SoHo Strength Lab and Promix Nutrition. "Carbs aren't bad, they're just overconsumed relative to a person's activity level," he says. When you cut carbs, you're giving up the foods you might be overindulging in, which saves you tons of calories.

And it's easy to see why we can't stop, won't stop with the refined carbohydrates, says Matheny. Besides being super-satisfying, things like cereal, spaghetti, and rice are cheaper, more convenient, and more frequently advertised than other foods, he says.

Plus, portion control is difficult for most people. "It's much easier to eliminate a food group than to learn how to eat it in a healthier way," says Gans. If you're a carb overeater, you'll likely be cutting at least 20% of the food you consume, so of course you'd lose weight.

It keeps blood sugar in check. A high-carb diet leads to greater variations in blood sugar, says Matheny. These fluctuations make your body physiologically dependent on carbs, so you crave more and more each time your blood sugar drops. This leads to overeating and weight gain, he says. When you lower your carb intake, your blood sugar stabilizes, and your cravings are crushed.

More carbs = more water weight. Most of the weight you lose when you start a low-carb diet is water weight, says Gans. Fluctuating insulin levels found in many overweight individuals cause the body to retain sodium and water. And, according to a study published in the Journal of the American Heart Association, a high-fat, low-carb diet stabilizes insulin levels, which leads to losing water weight and fat.

Why Low-Carb Doesn't Work for Everyone
You overconsume other macronutrients. Because cutting out a chunk of your food intake leaves you hungry, many people will overeat other macronutrients that they're "allowed" to have, says Matheny. The problem is, if you're consuming 3,000 calories of fat and protein a day and burning only 1,500 calories, you're still going to gain weight—regardless of the carb deficit.

It isn't sustainable. The chief problem with a low-carb diet is that people can't keep it up long-term. Both Kleiner and Gans agree that cutting out carbs completely, or even cutting back to 100 grams a day, is too difficult for most people.

"Giving up a food you love to eat almost always leads to feelings of deprivation," says Kleiner. "If you feel deprived, there is no way you are going to keep up those eating habits."

Your genes love carbs. You may be thinking, "But my sister-in-law's cousin hasn't had bread in 3 years and swears by it!" But, Kleiner says, those who claim they worship at the low-carb altar for the long haul are either lying or genetically predisposed to not miss carbs. It's true; studies have shown that genes can actually affect our taste preferences. And some people's genetically predetermined taste buds might lead them to feel 'meh' about carbs, says Kleiner.

Your body could respond poorly. If you eliminate carbohydrates, especially fiber-packed ones like potatoes, quinoa, and fruit, you're going to experience bloating and constipation from ousting them. Additionally, you could experience vitamin deficiencies and ketosis (a buildup of ketones in the body), which can lead to dehydration and insulin deficiency, says Gans.

It starts to affect your personality. Since carbs are energy fuel, you'll probably feel a bit sluggish, says Gans. And if you really love the starchy stuff, eliminating your favorite foods will make you cranky as hell (in addition to not being able to poop).

What Girls Who Work Out Need to Know

While low-intensity exercises, such as walking and yoga, take less energy and can be sustained without carbs, high-intensity workouts, like cycling and boot camp classes, require more fuel and are tough to take on without the help of carbohydrates in your diet, says Kleiner.

"Carbs are fuel for high-intensity activity," says Matheny.

Your body on a high-intensity sweat sesh and low-carb diet:Taking a high-intensity interval-training class while you're on a low-carb diet is a one-way ticket to the struggle bus. It's highly likely that you'll feel like your effort is at a 10 when you're only at a six, says Kleiner. That's because high-intensity workouts require energy from glucose (which comes from carbs) stored in our muscles, says Matheny. When you run out of glucose fuel, these workouts begin to break down muscle, which is bad for your body and your metabolism.

Also, if you're just starting a low-carb diet, your blood sugar will drop as your muscles become active, which can lead to fatigue and dizziness, says Matheny.

Your body on a low-intensity workout and low-carb meal plan:Since low-intensity workouts don't require as much immediate energy, your body has more time to convert fat to fuel, says Matheny.

Low-carb can lead to more effective fat-burning. That being said, a study published in the journal Metabolism found that ultra-marathoners (people who run 50 to 100 miles at once) experienced higher rates of fat burning when they capped carb consumption at 10% of their diet (for someone who eats 2,000 calories a day, that's 200 calories from carbohydrates, or about two slices of bread). But since the study didn't measure actual performance, we don't know if the runners'workouts were their best or not.

Is Low-Carb Right for You?
Whether you should increase or decrease your carb intake depends on your personal goals, health, and lifestyle.

If you want to lose weight… Nutritionists and scientists agree that a low-carb, ketogenic diet can be helpful for weight loss if used as a short-term solution or jumping-off point. The problem with diets like Atkins is that they force you to make extreme and sudden lifestyle changes. That drastic change often leads to weight loss, much of which is from water weight. And when you start to return to a "balanced" diet, maintaining that weight loss becomes difficult. Plus, yo-yo dieting in this way can have serious consequences for your body and your relationship with food.

If you have health concerns… Both Matheny and Gans point out that if you're diabetic or hypoglycemic, low-carb eating could be useful in blood sugar control, but you should consult a registered dietitian before making any changes. If you have gastrointestinal problems, the lack of fiber might be an issue.

If you have #FitnessGoals… Unless you're sticking to low-intensity yoga, a low-carb diet isn't the best option. High-intensity interval training is one of the most effective training techniques out there, and it requires a ton of carb-fueled energy. If you want to get better, faster, stronger (à la Kanye West), go ahead and eat a sweet potato a few hours before your HIIT workout.

What Is the Best Low-Carb Diet to Follow?
Let's get something out of the way right now: Following a strictly Paleodiet or obsessing over how many grams of carbs you eat per day is a recipe for weight loss failure (not to mention an effed-up relationship with food). Instead, it's best to focus on the types of carbs you're eating, says Gans.

"A healthy diet plan should include whole grains, fruit, veggies, and legumes—all of which are high-fiber carbohydrates," says Gans. We've said it once, we'll say it again: High-fiber foods can improve your digestion and help you lose weight by making you feel fuller, longer. "Learning portion control is key." Your dinner plate should be 25% protein, 25% high-fiber carbohydrates, and 50% vegetables, says Gans.

It's fine to nix refined sugar and carbs (see: rainbow bagels, Lucky Charms, chips, and pasta) if you're looking to cut back for a special event or as a general lifestyle change, says Kleiner. But as Matheny points out, even refined carbs have their place if you've got an activity level that can take it. Consuming refined carbs before you work out can provide quick energy and can even improve your results.

Bottom line: "Healthy eating shouldn't be about deprivation," says Gans.

I cant believe I am sharing this

At 8 years old my Step-Mom used to keep this jar of cookies...

I didn't become 50 pounds overweight overnight...

At 8 years old my step mom used to keep this jar of cookies and we were only allowed to have 2 cookies at lunch....

They were the most AMAZING cookies...homemade right

Ya know how grandmas cookies were always the best? Well Mom's cookies were just like that to me!

... but without fail I would sneak in to the kitchen everyday while my nieces and nephews were outside playing and tried sneak so many and take back to my bedroom so no one would notice.

Just enough to where she wouldn't even notice...

Have you ever snuck food before? Hopefully im not the only one ;) ...

But that cookie jar is where it all started...

My addiction turned into sitting in front of the TV at 21 years old with a box of Sweedish fish (before they had the 4 pound bags) and a giant bag of Middlesworth chips the BBQ kettle cooked...

thats ALOT of food right? well it just went from bad to worse...

Eating an entire carton of ice cream

To having an ENTIRE pizza by myself...

Crazy right?

I SERIOUSLY didn't even realize what i had gotten myself into.

It wasn't until this one day in 2013

Have you ever had something hit you all at once before?

It was a few summers after I had my second child and the kids had been wanting to go to the town pool

Up until that point I had been hiding behind baggy clothes and flowy shirts....​

It was the first time in my life I had to wear a bikini cover up because I was too embarrassed...

Maybe you've had a similar experience?

With a shrouding feeling of disappointment I had to ask my mom for the cover up...

*See the Actual Picture Below* ... 

Have you ever smiled on the outside, but on the inside you were far from happy?

Looking at that picture it's REALLY HARD to imagine being back there...

My life is so different now...

Do you have something you want to change about yourself?

Lose weight? Get toned? Have more energy? More confidence?

I believe we ALWAYS need to love ourselves where were at...

And BECAUSE we love ourselves, we always work to better ourselves...

Does that make sense?

Hopefully after Wednesday's email you were able to figure out your "why"...

Once you know "why" you're working towards your goal...

You need to put that motivation into ACTION!...

And unfortunately for me, that's where I got STUCK...

Ever felt stuck before?

I had NO IDEA what I needed to do to lose the weight...

I didn't know how many calories to eat, how much to workout, what to eat...

It all really felt so overwhelming...

I was used to just pulling up to Wendy's and ordering a spicy chicken sandwhich, a bacon cheeseburger and a large fry with a large frosty lol...

But I knew I had to change...

Thats why my  Law Of A No Fail Successful Transformation is to FOLLOW A PROVEN GAMEPLAN! 

I wasted so much time trying to "figure it all out" instead of just finding someone who already figured it out and just do what they did! ...

Is this making sense?

Click Here to watch a short video explaining this in a little more detail...

I just really wish I knew all of this when I started my journey.. LOL!

You know what I mean?!

But to be completely honest with you...

There is really ONE THING that helped me the MOST...

Out of all the tips, tricks, and advice I've heard...

With the exception of being able to follow my own Proven Gameplan...

This ONE THING was a gamechanger for me...

and I can't wait to tell you what it is in tomorrow's email! 

;)

With LOVE always from your Mentor,

Amber Davis

IT's FRIDAY...

I find it appropriate that the theme of our morning mentor chat today to be about our CHOICES.

So let me ask you a question:
When faced with a choice… do you choose taking hard action or to make the easy excuse?

Action For Today:
Over the past week name three times when you chose the easy excuse over taking the hard action:
1) ___________________________
2) ___________________________
3) ___________________________

Today, what hard action will you take where making the easy excuse would have been compelling?
1) ___________________________
2) ___________________________
3) ___________________________

Today, do it HARD.

What hard choice will you make today? Share with us in the comments below.

Your Daily Mentor,

Amber Davis

Day 12 Rest Day: 1 Runner’s Stretch to Elongate Your Legs

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